Going Home

I thought this day would never come. What a long, emotional and stressful week.  I could not be more happy then to be leaving this hospital, and with my son. 

I feel for those who have to spend endless days and nights in the hospital with their little ones as they fight for their lifes. I am so fortunate that Brysen overcame all the trials he was given and together we get to go home.

As we were headed to leave I couldn't be more appreciative to the doctors and nurses of the NICU and the nurses who helped me through my tears and pain. Every day was worth each and every fight I endured. I would do it all over again to bring my son home with me.

Now the real life begins......

Hospital

{Another long post and a lot of babbling, but I need to write as much as I can so I remember}

What a trial we have been faced with. Welcoming our son 5 weeks early, trying to get mom (me) back to good health, learning to adjust to juggling two kids at home (making sure they get school work done and house stays decent).

Tony was an amazing dad through all of this. He stayed with me at the hospital until as last as he could (due to babysitting needs), would leave go to work the next morning at 5am and then come straight back to the hospital that night just to do it all over again.  

I don't know what I would have done without him coming every night. I was lonely, lost, emotionally overwhelmed. I tried to stay strong and give the impression that I could handle it all on my own, but really I was crushed and a wreck. 

I am in pain walking to and from the nicu every two hours to fight together with Brysen and find the strength for him to eat. It seemed every time we over came a trial with Brysen a new one came. Being born 5 weeks early you can always expect some trials, but sometimes it feels never ending.

Once he was born they had to inflate his lungs so that he could breath correctly, we over came that and where immediately hit with extremely low sugar levels (due to too much insulin produced by his body).  The hooked up an IV in his scalp and began giving him a sugar IV. He was on the sugar for 3 days.  As we were regulating the sugar, he suddenly quit eating. His body got too weak and he wasn't able to suck enough so the put in a feeding tube.

Wednesday: The doctor gave me strict rules that if he didn't eat at least a full ounce orally within 30 minutes every three hours they would feed him through the tube. He had to go 24 hours without a feeding in the tube before they would release him from the hospital.  I was really worried the nurses in the NICU wouldn't take their time and patience to work him to eat so I was there for every feeding (every 3 hours). I calculated it took me about 15-20 minutes to walk from my room down to the NICU (side note: I was in alot of pain from surgery and was not wanting to take pain meds so I walked incredibly slow and in a lot of pain). So feeding is every 3 hours which means I basically did not sleep for 4 days. My every 3 hours consisted of 15 minutes to walk each way, plus 30 minutes feeding, 15 minutes changing his diaper, clothes, and checking his sugar & temperature,  get back to room and pump for 30 minutes, which would leave me with about 45 minutes until I had to do it all over again.

Every sleepless day, hour, minute was well worth me getting him strong enough to get off the sugar IV, and feeding tube.

Thursday: Must just be a blur with the rest of the days ;)

Friday morning - we finally overc0me those 3 battles (Lungs, Sugar levels and feedings) then they do the billirubin test to check for Jondus and find out he registered at a 17.9, which is a dangerous level for a baby of 3 days. They immediately call and get a full light bed and say that he will be in there for a mandatory 24 hours. I couldn't help but cry. My baby is 3 days old, I have barely seen or held him and now they are sticking him in this machine and tell me I can only take him out for 30 minutes every 3 hours. I just wanted to have him and hold him when I wanted.

Saturday Morning: What a long emotional day. I knew I was being released today, but still no word on when Brysen would get to go home with me. It made me cry over and over cause I needed answers, I needed to know when I could take my baby home. Finally the NICU calls me and says he has passed the Jondus test and they are waiting for the doctor to come, but they are hopeful he will be released this morning. I cried again, I was so happy of the possibility he would come home with me.

Finally at 11am the doctors came and cleared me. Once I was cleared I was able to go down to the NICU and wait for the pediatrician. It felt like forever. Finally he came and said "You are a lucky little guy, you get to go home with your mommy!" Those were the best words I had ever heard. Once they doctor gave the okay we began all the process of getting a baby released from the NICU. He had to sit in his car seat for 90 minutes without his heartbeat or oxygen levels dropping. I had to watch an hour long video on first aid and cpr.  I had to sit through a 30 minute session with the lactation specialist and lastly a 30 minute session with the head nurse of NICU to go over all the precautions with a preemie.

Once all the classes were over, Brysen passed him car seat test, and Dad arrived from Mesquite we signed all the released papers and couldn't get out of that place fast enough.

Welcome Baby Boy

Wow what a day. This will be a long post, as I write detailed so that I can remember this day.

Over the weekend prior to delivering our baby boy I was not feeling to good. My head was constantly hurting, but I just kept blowing it off. Finally Saturday night I went over to Smith's to check my blood pressure. I couldn't think of any other reason my head would be hurting.  However it wasn't incredibly high, it was in the 140's over 80 (anything below 120/80 ix normal) so home I went.  Sunday morning I woke up feeling like crap still but again just figured lack of sleep and the excessive heartburn where the cause.  I decided that I was down to just over 5 weeks until D-day so I would start gathering the baby and my stuff for the hospital, and make a list of all the stuff I still needed to buy. (obviously my mind knew something I didn't)

Monday comes along and I go about my normal day, getting the kids ready and off to school and go to work. I still seemed to feel a little off, but I had stuff I needed to get done so I continued to put it off. Finally lunch time rolls around and I decided I should go to the doctors in Mesquite just to have my blood pressure checked. Sitting in the chair with those horrible blood pressure cuffs I could feel it getting tighter and tighter as I sat there and instantly I had a bad feeling.  Finally it started to loosen an I could see the concern in the nurses eyes. She quickly asked me if I had any high blood pressure during pregnancy, and I responded no. My blood pressure had been perfect the entire 8 months. I then asked her what the number was and she responded 189/100. I was shocked. And scared. I was not ready for this baby, but I didn't want to get myself worked up. So I politely asked her what I should do, and she replied "Go to Labor & Delivery."

So I left the doctors office feeling a little overwhelmed, but not wanting to overreact. This being the first time I had high blood pressure I wondered if it was just cause I was so tired. So I immediately called my dr office, but had no luck talking to anyone.  I waited 10 minutes and called again, still no luck. At that moment I decided to call L&D and see what they thought.  I explained to her what was going on, past pregnancy issues and she told me the safest thing to do would be to come to the hospital.

Luckily for me Tony had the day off. I called him on his cell and told him "We need to go to the hospital." He was home in minutes and we were on our way.  Once I arrived the nurses didn't seem to be to worried, I think they wanted to brush me off as a paranoid prego chick (which I very well am) Just as the first nurse was telling me a story about how lack of sleep can effect it blah, blah, blah, another nurse walked in said "Dr. Lunt wants her hooked up to monitor the baby and her blood pressure for 2 hours and a full routine blood work drawn and then he will be over for the results." He also ordered that I have no food or drinks just in case (so at this point I had only had a granola bar at 9:30 in the morning and it was nearing 2pm, I was starving)

2 hours of having your blood pressure checked every 10 minutes simply SUCKS. Those things hurt worse then a shot (side note by the time I delivered the baby my arm was bruised from the blood pressure cuff) Finally the dr arrived, wasn't too happy with the numbers and announced that I will be admitted to the hospital.

He must have seen the fear in my eyes when he looked at Tony and I and promised nothing would happy to our son or I. He said the baby was completely perfect, there was no stress on him or anything, that he was worried about me. He didn't understand why my blood pressure was so high, why I was so swollen yet I didn't have preclamsia.

He warned us that there was a possibility that they would take the baby today. He wanted to start an IV, get me in a gown (I was still in my street clothes) and continue to monitor the baby. He was going to give me some meds to bring down my blood pressure. (my blood pressure had got as high as 217/147)  He then told me he had to "run" to his sons track meet, but the  nurses had him on speed dial if they saw any concerns, and he would be back to check on me in the evening.

About midnight, 5 hours after they had given me meds for blood pressure I started to have a worse headache and my blood pressure began to climb again (it never went to normal levels, but they had got it down to about 147/89, which was better then the prior readings).  My back was killing me from laying on the beds which are hard as a rock, and I wanted to get out of bed so bad, but the nurses wouldn't let me. Finally about 3am the nurse came in and said she had just got off the phone with Dr. Lunt and he was on his way in. He was not happy with my numbers and he was ready to take the baby.

He feared what could happen to me if we waited any longer, although at no time did they worry the baby was in danger.  5am rolled around and the nurse came in to inform me that Dr had got there around 4am, but had a patient go into labor and he was just finishing up with her.  About 6:30am the nurse came in and began to "prep" my body for c-section. The anesthesiologist (very cute guy) came and talked to me about everything and took me back to surgery room. 

I remember sitting on the tiny bed talking to the nurse while getting the epidural. I really don't think  they are that painful, lol. Epidural was done and the anesthesiologist told me to lay back immediately.  As soon as my head hit the bed it felt like exploded. It was pounding worse then anything I can ever describe.  I started to cry I was in so much pain. My blood pressure suddenly went from 196/121 to 237/47.  No one seemed to understand what my body was doing, and all I knew was my head was about to explode.  

They continued to drape me and started asking me all the routine questions, can you feel this, can you feel that. Are you legs heavy and numb and so forth.  Dr. Lunt then announced to me he was going to do the initial cut and then my husband would be brought in, to just hang in there. Next thing I know I was screaming. I felt that cut, and it hurt like I can't even explain. Dr. Lunt asked the anesthesiologist what was going on and he said I was fully numbed at highest dose and my body was just acting weird. It was at that point the anesthesiologist and Dr decided to give me something and that is the last thing I remember.

Next thing I know I am waking up, confused lost and had no clue what was going on or what had just happened.  I realized I was in the hospital, but had no clue I had just had a baby. I began to panic and ask where my husband was, the nurses replied he was with the baby, and I replied where is the baby, my baby? I was later informed I asked her that about 6 times. 

Finally I started to come out of it and was able to see my baby for about 5 seconds before they rushed him away to nicu.  

Tony tells me I said a lot of weird things to the doctors and nurses while I was out, but obviously I don't recall any of it! 

This is all I can remember to post about now, but I am sure I will remember more later!!!

Happy Birthday Tony!

Happy Birthday to my amazing husband and one of the best fathers in the world!  We love you so much and thank you for all you do for us!